Rudo Y Cursi

Rudo Y Cursi

BATON: A while back, some wanker told me
the most beautiful game ever invented
began with the severed head of a soldier.
And his enemy's brutal kick.
The first goal ever, unofficially,
was scored when the head flew between two trees.
"Dreadful!" I said. "That depends," said the wanker.
"Dreadful for the goalkeeper, but for the striker, it was glorious."
Know the difference between a banana loader and a donkey?
You don't know?
What?
Nope.
The donkey's well hung!
Fucking A, Rudo!
Don't run, Tato.
You'll bruise the bananas.
You said go faster.
These are for export.
♪ So goes our life, so goes our love
♪ It's a never ending story ♪
Stop with the yodeling, asshole.
♪ Like an April evening. Love to love… ♪
You know the words "shut up"?
Will you shut up now, jackass?
Asshole!
You're wearing me out!
Hey, shorty! Wait up!
BETO: Tato! Wait up!
Tato! Tell that dwarf to wait!
TATO: Hurry up! Grab on!
Hold it still, shithead!
You got it! Grab on!
Hold it still!
Grab on!
Wait, damn it!
That's it, grab the little stick, Beto!
BATON: In sports as in life, individual effort means nothing
if it doesn't support a group effort.
Teamwork can only be understood as
a principle of generosity, one for all.
That's the spirit that unites us and makes us brothers.
TONA: Don't play dumb. Where is it?
I lost it last night, mango.
Have you lost your mind? I need my blender, Beto!
Sorry, my system failed.
It always fails!
I want my blender!
You'll live like a queen once my system gets going, Tona.
Meanwhile we're screwed! How am I gonna blend?
Big deal, ask my mom to borrow hers.
You ask her! Don't bet what's not yours!
Bet that stupid game of yours!
It's Campitos' game. You just said don't bet what isn't mine.
Then sell it. You waste all day playing with him.
It's called quality time.
I want my blender back!
TONA: More rice? You can finish later, Nadia. Get some more tortillas.
Why bother? They're too chewy!
Now, dear, you already had a dozen.
And they all tasted like shit.
Where'd you buy them, Tona?
TONA: Same place as always.
So who's dumber? The one who bought
them, or the one who served them?
Don't talk like that to my wife and mom, Arnulfo! Apologize!
Did they run out of fresh tortillas?
My gun's bigger than yours! Apologize to my mom!
Better leave your dad alone!
This cop ain't nobody's father! Not even the twins.
He's only been here a couple of years! Say you're sorry.
I'm waiting.
Say you're sorry, damn it!
I'm going to Texas.
What's that, Son?
BETO: You're going where?
Up north, with some guys from Chiapas.
To pick fruit?
No, I'm gonna make it big,
as a singer.
(BETO AND ARNULFO LAUGHING)
All wetbacks make minimum wage, dickhead!
Cuco's got a cousin. He does radio in Texas.
Son, you sing real nice,
but Beto's right.
Then how will I ever build you your house?
You'll wind up singing in the street.
I'm the one who'll build the house, like always,
with my savings.
What savings?
Friends, come make your dreams come true…
TONA: Wish we had a phone so we could win that raffle.
BETO: Yeah.
Like, how much could we buy?
A shitload, I guess.
The car's real nice.
We'd give it to my mom.
Geez, you're always giving her what's ours.
Well, Arnulfo never gives her shit.
So what about your brother?
He's good for nothing. Takes after his dad.
Yours wasn't so hot either, right?
♪ You're my platonic love, forbidden fruit
♪ I know we don't have a chance
♪ to ever be together
♪ but I worship you
♪ from afar, little darling ♪
I'll take Maya Vega over the car any day. She's a fox.
Don't say that, moron! Maya's the most fragrant flower,
the sweetest nectar, the loveliest woman on Earth.
Well said, poet. So what'll it be? Tea For Two, or Goodbye Girl
BETO: Game time, you lazy fuck!
Hey, asshole!
Fuck off!
BETO: Man, you reek. Stay clear of the ref. He'll kick you out.
Buy me a beer, okay?
You're wasted.
Pay you back later.
Sweat it off.
BATON: Here's where I enter the story.
Hello, chaps. I'm Dario Vidali, better known as "Baton."
TATO: Baton?
That little wand conductors use. I'm a talent scout.
There's lots of talent here!
What's up?
Really.
Buggered, old chap.
My tire's bungled and there's no spare in the boot.
Is there a shop nearby?
Boot? You keep spares in your boots?
No… I need a place to fix it.
There's a mechanic in El Naranjo.
Yeah.
Could you help me take the tire to be fixed? You'll be well paid.
No can do. Game time, Tato.
♪ Trees on the cliffside ♪
BATON: But I paid the alimony. Don't drag the kids into this,
I'm begging you.
Quiet, mate, I can't hear…
♪ Not watered by the flowery river ♪
Hello?
I'm never there? I took them fishing three months ago…
Hello?
No signal. I'm losing reception…
TATO: Hey, here's a flat. Fix it, okay? It belongs to the gentleman.
Thanks, chaps, I'm very grateful.
Sure thing, any time.
Booger, wait up!
What do you think, sir? How's my singing?
Stellar. There's a tad extra for you in my tip.
BETO: Tato, the game's starting!
Coming!
Let me give you my info, to stay in touch.
Of course.
See ya.
Laddie, come here. Do me a favor.
Bring me an ice cold six-pack. Cold as a nun's tit.
TATO: String, kite, string!
Who's that dancing fellow who just scored?
What do you mean?
That's Tato Verdusco!
And who's the goalkeeper?
The goalie?
Tato's brother.
"Rudo" Beto Verdusco.
Rudo?
I see.
He's totally ruthless. But he always plays fair.
Yes, I'm sure.
BATON: Dirt fields are a paradox.
The poorest places are where you'll find the diamond in the rough.
Flawless, pure. Miraculous.
(ALL CHANTING)
Tato!
Hey, did you see it?
Congratulations, smashing, well done!
Mr. Baton, I'm so glad you stayed!
Like I said, I scout and represent soccer talent.
You're not in the music biz?
Not music. Soccer.
Soccer? Really?
Perhaps you've heard of Luis Guzman,
Alex Garcia, Butterball Peralta…
Of course we have.
I discovered those lads. Butterball, for example.
I found him in a little town in Chile. Now he's a star.
I represent them all, and then some.
Let's cut to the chase.
I saw you chaps play and I'll be frank.
You're not getting any younger.
But you've got enormous potential, each in his own way.
True, true.
Yes.
And I'd love to take you both under my wing.
For tryouts?
But I've got too many prospects,
and I can only manage one of you.
What about the other?
The other? Hard to say. Soccer is fickle.
Could be a week, a month, a year,
or perhaps I'll never pass this way again.
How do you propose we decide?
Penalty shot.
You're sure? High stakes, Rudo.
Well, that's soccer, right?
Absolutely.
Choose your goal.
That one.
Tally ho, lads.
Penalty shot, bro.
Shoot to the right.
Let me block it. Shoot to the right.
Okay.
Whenever you're ready.
Kick it, bro!
Come on, shoot!
Good show. Congratulations.
Can we do it over?
It looked legit to me.
Two out of three?
Afraid not. That's the game, win some,
lose some. Better luck next time.
Well done, Tato. Lovely, right in the pocket.
We're off early tomorrow. Meet me at the tire repair shop at 7:30.
I'll be there.
Coming! I'm already mobile. Don't be late. Ciao, champ.
BATON: So, where can I stay?
TATO: Mango Bay is 10 miles ahead.
Sounds charming for Osiris and myself. Cheerio, Tato.
Should I bring my uniform?
What the fuck?
What do you mean?
I said aim right! Why'd you shoot the other way?
I aimed right!
I meant the other right!
What other right?
My right, asshole!
You should have said to aim that way!
What other right is there, jackass?
My right, bro! Over there!
Motherfucker! Don't play dumb!
I'm not playing! You told me, "Aim right"!
Weren't you going up North?
Well, yeah, bro!
So?
So, then this chance came along!
Traitor!
You screwed me out of my chance, asshole!
BATON: They say the first wars were between brothers.
Then came games to prevent them through symbolic imitation.
Pity, nowadays wars are mistaken for games and games for wars.
Especially between brothers.
We all depend on you.
It's what I always wanted, Tona!
And that asshole fucked it up!
But you're foreman at a banana ranch, Beto. Not a soccer player.
Because I never got the chance!
This soccer business is a long shot.
You lose, we all lose big time.
That asshole already made me lose!
Come on, sweetie.
We're better off without that retarded brother of yours.
Don't call him that!
TATO: Watch yourself, Mom.
What do you mean?
Well, Arnulfo.
Don't worry. I'll be all right.
Well, I'm off.
Wish me luck.
Take care, Son. You'll send us something back, right?
Of course I will. I'll build you a mansion with all the money I make.
You'll do well, Tato. You'll see.
Bye, Mom.
Goodbye.
I'll call you.
Okay.
(PLAYING TUNELESSLY)
(WHISTLING)
They stood you up, dumbass!
Faggot!
(HORN SOUNDING LA CUCARACHA)
Son of a bitch.
I was just about to leave, Mr. Baton.
BATON: Flying the coop?
Hop in. Back seat's fit for a king.
Here?
Have a beer. Don't spill it. The upholstery is genuine leather.
Excuse me, miss.
BATON: Sorry I'm late, Osiris abused me
all night long and I had to recover.
TATO: It's cool.
Now who's left behind, faggot!
Up yours!
Screw you! Kiss my ass!
What? I can't hear you!
BATON: I'll offer you a five-year contract.
That includes negotiations, administration,
everything to make your life easier.
My cut is 15%.
Deal?
BATON: First time in Mexico City?
TATO: Yeah.
It's a monster, eh?
But even the scariest monster has its charms.
This humble abode is mine. You'll stay here for a while.
Here's enough food for a week.
I'm gonna eat this all week?
They're tasty. They've got shrimp.
Nobody's home now, but three other blokes live here.
Not for long, though.
But there's only two beds.
You'll work out something.
Know how to use one of these?
Yeah.
My number's there if you need anything.
Okay.
I'll take you to the team tomorrow.
Do you know anybody in the music biz?
You're serious about singing, mate?
Yes.
What inspired you?
My dad.
I see…
He sang in a famous band.
He was French.
He left me this.
The key of G. Nice.
My mother left me this.
Nice.
She was a whore.
Great lady.
I never wanted for anything.
Let's focus only on soccer.
Yes.
Get some rest,
tomorrow's the biggest day of your life.
Take care.
Thanks.
See you later.
(BAND PLAYING)
BETO: I'm in for 25
and Pimienta's fucking watch.
You're out of control tonight, Rudo.
He misses his baby brother Tato.
I miss the blowjobs your mama used to give me, asshole.
To be honest, me, too.
She was good going down, huh?
So what's up? Anybody in?
I'm out.
50 says I call. Show me what you got.
Read them and weep, jacks and aces.
Three of a kind, asshole.
Double or nothing. You and me.
What are you gonna bet, your mom?
You got another blender?
No, but I've got a pan to fry your balls on!
Leave my mom out of this, asshole.
Come on, Rudo, take it easy.
BATON: All of life is a gamble,
a ball hits the goalpost, or goes in for a goal.
What makes the difference? Destiny, of course.
And the effect given to the ball when it's kicked.
No!
He's a double threat. Old and rotten.
I'm taking him out. Raul!
No, wait!
He's not warmed up yet. Give him another chance.
Don't forget, talent is ageless.
He fucks up again, he's out.
Give us a moment. Tato! Come!
What's wrong, mate? Leave your talent back home?
That's Yank Garcia!
And J.J. Escandon, and that's Generalisimo.
It's just too much.
They can all blow me!
Yank used to drive a bus!
Escandon was a bricklayer! Generalisimo washed cars!
You're a top player! Show them what you've got!
Let's make a deal.
If you make the team, I'll help your singing career.
Okay.
Stop prancing around and play, you wanker!
Won't be long now before the magic starts.
Goal!
What did I tell you?
Where shall we have lunch, darling?
Goal!
The lad's a goal-making machine.
TATO: String, kite, string!
Goal.
This could go on all day.
Does he have to do that every time he scores?
The lad's got style.
Where'd you find him?
You can talk about the miracle, but never reveal its source.
You prick.
The hick's got something.
Reminds me of myself. I'll take him.
He'll be a starter!
Depends on him. He's going places. You go hassle management.
Don't forget, I get my 10%.
Done. Always a pleasure, Bruno.
(TATO SINGING)
TATO: (SINGING) ♪ I'm waiting for you to come back into my arms
♪ To give me kisses and caresses ♪
TEAMMATE: Tato, pass me the soap. It fell over there.
Where? Oh, yeah.
What the fuck!
BATON: Players can be quite imaginative when hazing.
Sometimes they switch toothpaste for shaving cream.
They perform the legendary wedgie, or the fearsome tube.
Some rookies stay awake on the road so they won't end up
with a teammate's penis in their mouths.
BETO: Faster, man!
What's it gonna take? Chili peppers up your ass?
But you said the fruit would bruise.
Not if you run with the right technique!
What're you looking at, asshole?
What?
All you loaders are a bunch of faggots!
TEAMMATE: Give it a rest, dickwad!
Shut up, you fucking hick!
Hit the showers, your feet stink!
TEAMMATE: Shit yeah, man.
(WHISTLES)
All right!
That's enough for today!
Tato! Come here!
How many weeks you been here?
About six.
Go get your stuff.
But… How come?
You're suiting up for Sunday's game.
You know what that means?
I don't know if you'll play, but you're on the bench.
Cat got your tongue?
Thanks, Coach.
All right, hit the showers.
Are you going to watch Tato's game?
I'm busy.
You never miss a game.
Forget about your retarded brother.
I said, don't call him that!
Okay.
We'll be right outside.
Yeah.
You're coming, right?
TV ANNOUNCER: …and here's the bench for Amaranto.
Number 20, Pegoraro. Number 19, Gabriel Boron.
Beto, give me a hand.
Number 17, Javier Mena.
Son, come on over here.
Number 14, Tato Verdusco.
(ALL CHEERING)
There he is!
Tona, you take her.
I got stuff to do.
BATON: The bench is purgatory.
It's like quicksand, the longer you stay,
the deeper you sink.
It's like taking your bride on a honeymoon,
then not being able to make love,
but having to watch 22 cretins
and three bobbies have their way with her
while thousands cheer.
SUPERVISOR: Raul Perez.
Beto Verdusco.
You still owe me half of the next two paychecks, Rudo.
So I see.
Rudo! Main office! Phone call!
Thanks.
You're not supposed to take calls here. Let this be the last time.
Sorry. It won't happen again.
Afternoon, boss.
Hello, Rudo.
Sorry, excuse me.
Hello?
Rudo! Baton here!
Hello.
You want to turn pro?
Yeah, sure.
Your brother's been pushing for this, really breaking my balls.
He has?
I won't have any left if he continues.
Whoa, better watch out, Baton.
Soccer in this country never ceases to amaze,
Second Division extended its registration deadline.
And the Nopaleros club needs a goalkeeper.
You've got to be here tomorrow. Can you make it?
Yeah, sure.
Perfect. See you then.
Roger.
Big hug, dearie.
Big hug, dearie.
Where've you been? I've been waiting like some bloody tart!
I'm here, but they wouldn't let me in.
If they ask for me, honey, you've got to let them through.
How's tricks? I found a team for your brother like you asked.
Yeah? Great. But I'm going back home.
I'm tired of warming the bench.
Have you gone mental? Be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day.
I want to sing. Hook me up with those guys in the music biz.
I'll get you the best contract! The best venues!
But first you've got to play.
That's what I want, but they won't put me in.
Bruno's an imbecile.
I'll offer him a bigger cut, maybe he'll make you a starter.
Yeah.
What now?
She's Maya Vega, right? From the TV game shows?
Want to meet her?
No…
There, now, Baton is here.
Maya!
Batty! So good to see you.
Hey, you got Gringa Roldan's phone number?
Not with me, I'll give it to you later.
Let me introduce an amazing pro player, Tato Verdusco.
Hi… Sorry.
When's the next barbecue?
Soon. You're the guest of honor.
I'll light the fire, you bring the meat.
Batty, you're impossible! Gotta run. Take care.
I'm leaving, Son.
Take care of Mom. Okay.
Now what, Beto?
They're falling asleep, eh?
Where you going at this hour?
To the packing plant. Two trucks need loading.
Right now?
Yeah, someone's got to do it…
Bye, mango.
Go back to sleep.
Out of my way…
Excuse me.
BATON: Nothing personal, but goalkeepers always remind me of ravens,
carrion birds. Bad omens.
They're solitary creatures who watch the world from a distance.
They're allowed the forbidden,
they use their hands to block goals
and rain on everyone's parade.
They're catastrophic.
Sorry I'm late, the labor unions are blocking the streets.
Let's go.
Afternoon, miss.
BATON: Soccer has to be your main priority.
As goalkeeper, you've twice the liability.
Guarding the net means carrying the team on your shoulders.
It's always your fault.
There's an old saying,
if you want to stop being a prat, stop being a goalie.
What's a prat?
Tosser, knobhead… Jackass.
Are you willing to be a jackass for soccer?
Jackass? Never. No way.
That's the spirit!
By the way, I take 15% of everything you make.
Agreed?
What? 15%? Too high.
I'll take 20 if you insist, but I've got to charge something.
First time in Mexico City for you, too?
Yeah.
It's a monster, eh?
But even the scariest monster has its charms.
(ROARS)
His name is Beto "Rudo" Verdusco.
Your goalie's an old man, Baton.
Talent is ageless, Obdulio.
How come they call him "Rudo"?
Mafafo!
It was clean.
Get out of here! Both of you! Take five, Mafafo.
He took a dive.
How come that ball's not moving, damn it!
So what do I do now?
Play and keep from getting buggered!
Keep from what?
So what do you think of Rudo?
If I ever need a hitman, I'll call you.
The nickname suits him, eh?
Too well. Come on! Stop hogging the ball! Pass!
Remember you lost your goalkeeper for the season.
So what? Yours is a criminal.
Don't let him get away. Your sub is fragile as a teacup,
and the other one's got butterfingers.
There are others. Go after it! Don't just stand there!
Incredible! You're passing on a great goalie and your cut?
What cut?
10%.
Nope.
All right, 15.
Okay. He can stay. Square it with management.
My cut comes straight from you.
Done. Always a pleasure, Obdulio.
The pleasure's all yours.
Yo, pass me the soap.
The pink one? Sure.
Hold up, you faggot!
Calm down, asshole.
Come and make me, pussy!
Fricking newbie, now you're screwed. Shaving cream and razors!
Let's shave his balls!
ALL: (CHANTING) Razorblade, razorblade!
BATON: I'd forgotten that variation.
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Itchy?
Try talcum powder.
On the bright side, now it'll look bigger.
(LAUGHS)
Sons of bitches. Ganged up on me.
One on one, I would have cracked their fucking skulls.
Let it go. You don't want enemies right away.
The owners pay by the game. You need to be star goalkeeper.
Don't worry. That net is mine.
That's the spirit. Keep it up.
This way.
You're lucky. The other blokes cleared out.
Now it's just you and your brother.
Spectacular, eh?
Yeah.
Here's food for a week. They've got shrimp. Quite tasty.
Shrimp? Inside?
That's the place.
Your key.
See you tomorrow. Please don't kill anybody.
You're leaving?
Quite.
Big hug, dearie!
♪ Little girl, little girl… ♪
Yo.
Yo.
What's up?
What's up?
How's your team?
Good. We're gonna kick ass.
Watch your ass in the showers. That hazing shit…
They can kiss my ass.
You still on the bench?
Yeah. But I don't give a shit.
I'm working on my singing career.
How do I call home on this piece of crap?
TONA: I was worried! Nobody knew anything!
How could you leave like that? Why'd you steal our money?
I didn't steal it, mango. Just borrowed it. You'll get it back.
Oh, yeah? How?
I'm already on a team.
So what?
You take the blender, you take our savings, you never change!
Sorry, mango, but now we're gonna live like kings!
When's that gonna happen?
Soon as I get paid so you can come join me here.
And until then? What'll we live on?
You left us nothing!
I'll send money!
Or sell Campitos' game!
You better believe I'm selling it.
Sell it, then you'll know it was good for something.
But I'm not coming out there or staying here with your mom.
I'm not crazy!
So what are you gonna do?
Like you give a shit! Goodbye!
What's Tona up to?
Nothing much. She says hi.
You're pussy-whipped.
You're a faggot.
Want me to make you some soup?
Sure. That's talcum, right?
It's for your feet.
Look, just pour in boiling water
and throw it in.
Hey, it's got shrimp!
Yeah, they're freeze-dried.
BATON: Reunions are always magical,
like a striker's goal after a bad run,
or kicking the ball after a prolonged injury,
or a fan's return to the stadium after years of absence.
Go get it! Wake up!
Stay in formation!
Watch your back!
Move out!
Hey, Coach.
What's up, Rudo?
The wingmen won't fall back. They're getting behind us.
Why not switch to 4-4-2, move Fede
to defense and play Mafafo as floater?
Sure. Don't be such a fucking idiot.
Listen up, men! The ship is sinking!
Switch to 4-4-2! Fede, you're defense!
Mafafo, you play floater!
Felix! You're in for Rudo!
Let's win this, men!
How'd you like my changes? Good, huh?
Go out and win, boys!
"How'd you like my changes?" Son of a bitch!
BATON: Ever been here before, mate?
BETO: I'm a regular.
Hey, Memo? What's up?
Come in.
We'll lose our shirts, eh?
It's cool, you're with me.
Why drag me along?
I'm a pacifist.
Let's watch your brother's game instead.
Why bother? He never plays!
This isn't what you promised!
I didn't even play three games!
I'm not even on the bench!
That's soccer, Rudo.
But I don't make money unless I play.
I'm broke. Loan me 100 pesos, okay?
Fine, but I want it back, eh?
Yeah.
Bugger me! They're sending him in! Tato's going in!
TV ANNOUNCER: He may be a rookie, but he's seen better days.
I'll put 100 on the white.
There's no white. Red or green.
Red, then. I don't give a shit.
100 on the red he doesn't give a shit about.
That's it?
Yeah, well, I'm broke, man.
No more bets! Let them loose!
You know why you're broke? Because you don't play.
If you want to play and get paid,
you have to apologize to Obdulio.
Why? I didn't do anything!
You told the coach how to do his job, you fool!
And the bastard listened!
So what! It's not done. Not with a ball breaker like Obdulio.
You apologize, you play. End of story.
That asshole can go to hell!
To hell with him, then. You know best.
That's my boy! See what's left of your chicken, Baton.
What a waste.
That's my cock!
Check this out.
Looks pretty bad.
Yeah.
So you gonna pay me or what?
You win, Rudo.
TV ANNOUNCER: Tato looks good, he fakes,
the goalie leaves his area.
Tato shoots.
Goal!
What control!
What flourish!
This rookie is a sweetheart, he's a romantic!
Beyond romantic, he's Cursi!
What a super-duper goal by Tato "Cursi" Verdusco!
Who said they could call me Cursi? "We All Wanna Be Cursi."
"A Cursi Season." I'm no pansy.
They adore you. You've had a dream season.
Top scorer, rookie of the year.
But they can't call me that!
Bollocks! You'll take the nickname and like it.
Bullshit! You got a good nickname, a conductor in the mid-field!
Chill out, Cursi.
Don't call me that, asshole!
You are a sweet romantic, Cursi.
BATON: How could I explain that I only played
soccer as a lad in the streets,
that I was awful, and I got the nickname because
people said that I'd be better off conducting an orchestra?
I've good news and bad news, Rudo.
Bad news first.
I couldn't find another team for next season.
Shit! What's the good news?
Look over there.
What's that?
Don't be a fool, Cursi.
The owners want to take care of you. I present your new home.
Mine? For real?
The rent comes out of your paycheck,
but the furniture is a gift from the Club.
(CHEERS)
Fuck, Baton! What's the good news?
Stop breaking my balls.
Good news is your brother's humble abode. Smashing, eh?
TATO: It's huge. I'm gonna bring all the chicks here.
The TV's incredible.
Go look around.
TATO: Whoa! Beto, three rooms!
A bathroom with one of those tubs that make bubbles.
There's room for you, Beto.
Baton!
The SUV is also a gift from the Club.
Seriously?
It's white, like a ghost!
What are you doing? Chin up, come here.
I'm fine.
You're not, because you haven't heard the good news.
Nopaleros are now First Division.
But we didn't make the playoffs. Panteras were the champs.
The magic of soccer in Mexico.
The owners paid for a new franchise!
Boggles the mind.
What about that asshole Obdulio?
He's out! The new coach is a friend of mine!
I raved about you and you're his starting goalie!
Marvelous, eh?
I'm the starter? For real?
Of course, as it you should be.
Tato, turn that off!
I can't turn it off.
Bollocks, like this!
One more thing…
A contract to record a song and a video.
Spare me.
We're gonna make it big!
(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'm begging you to beg me
♪ I'll shine up the old brown boots
♪ I'll put on a brand new hat
♪ I'll get home early from work
♪ If you say that you love me
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Feeling all alone without you I feel like dying ♪
String, kite, string!
BETO: Let's get going, bro.
TATO: Hold on, wait up.
Give me a break. You've been watching that for weeks.
Awesome, huh?
It's all right. But enough already.
Okay, let's go.
The painting my dad left me looks good, huh?
Really lights up the room.
Yeah.
Right on.
Hell yes. It's awesome.
FAN: Aren't you Rudo and Cursi?
TATO: Yeah.
I swear you're the sweetest striker ever.
Thanks, man.
You're a wall, Rudo. Without you Nopaleros would get creamed.
They should worship you.
Can I give you two a kiss?
Sure.
Can we get a picture with you?
Go, go!
Why don't you sit with me, have a drink and watch the race?
I can't. I'm working.
They won't let you? Bastards.
Give me your number and we'll toast when your shift ends.
Cell phone, I don't want to call your mom.
You're Cursi, right?
You're Maya Vega.
Have we met?
Sure, I'd know you anywhere.
I love your nickname, "Cursi." You must be really sweet.
Yeah… You could say that.
A super player who's super romantic.
But soccer's not really my thing. I'm actually a singer…
Look, this was my dad's, he was French.
If you sing like you play, I want all your records.
Buy me a drink?
Yeah, sure. What'll it be?
Champagne, sweetie. Chilled.
Make it two, please. Thanks.
Go! Go!
That's that. Thanks. Later.
You're Rudo, right?
Yeah.
You're a great goalie. Great gambler, too. You really got a sixth sense.
Really?
Sure. Let me offer you my services,
Las Vegas-style entertainment.
Top notch.
Give me a ring whenever.
(HONKING)
NADIA: Look at the big truck, Mom!
About time you came home, boys!
Look what I brought you.
How handsome!
Hey, Mom.
BETO: You're getting big!
When did they build that new road?
Some guy named Don Casimiro put it in.
He bought up all the ranches. They say he's a drug lord.
Very cool road.
Check this out.
To watch over you when I'm not around.
It's choreographic. Eyes open and shut.
It's lovely!
I'll hang it up.
What happened to you, Mom?
Nothing, son.
Let me see.
I must have bumped into something.
Where's that asshole Arnulfo?
He ran off with some bimbo. Don't worry.
How am I not going to worry?
TATO: Hello, Baton?
I'll kill that motherfucker!
That pig will end up worse than your dad.
How come you didn't tell me, Nadia?
I couldn't.
You couldn't? One phone call!
Tato, look what that prick Arnulfo did!
Son of a bitch!
No, not you, Baton.
One fucking phone call, Nadia!
I'll call you back.
Hey, Mom, guess what?
They picked me!
For what?
The national team! What else?
We're going to play Haiti!
What about you, loser?
Thanks, honey. It's real nice.
Sorry I took so long, mango.
The blender's just the start.
I'll get you out of this shithole.
My home is not a shithole! I put it together myself!
It's pretty crappy.
Just wait until I'm done.
Come with me to the city. You'll see how nice the house is.
I don't know, honey.
You're my wife, aren't you?
I don't know anymore.
My husband took off like some crook.
I paid everything back, Tona.
Yeah, but I'm doing fine right here.
I'm a sales rep for WonderLife now.
What the fuck is that?
WonderLife is a multi-level marketing company promoting well-being.
We develop and sell vitamins, supplements, all that stuff.
That shit doesn't work!
It does! I'm doing well.
I've almost earned enough for a little car.
Screw that! I'll get you a car or
whatever you want if you come with me!
I've got nothing to do in the city.
Why don't you stay here with us?
You never listen, do you? I'm on a team!
First Division! I can't stay here.
Well, I'm happy here with my home and my customers.
Tristan's not good enough for you.
His dad runs that dime store and barely gets by.
Not again.
He just wants to knock you up. Like all the other bastards.
That's not true.
Open your eyes. Don't be a fool.
Leave me alone, Mom.
That girl. She reminds me of her father.
No way. He was ugly.
Nadia takes after you. She's pretty.
Right, Beto?
Never mind. Beto's upset because he can't control his wife.
So…
Do you like Chololos Beach?
I love it. My dad used to bring me here.
We'd get naked and goof around.
Here's where I want to build your new house.
For real?
No, I want to build your new house.
You, too?
I'm figuring out how to finance it.
No, I'm looking at lots to build your house on.
It'll be nicer than that drug lord's house.
Much nicer. Huge. Three floors!
I'll put your pool bar over here.
No, I'll build your bedroom with a balcony and a view of the ocean.
BATON: The love for a mother and a uniform are the same.
Mothers provide our identity.
Our struggle to win her affection
is our struggle to stay alive.
Every fan wants to prove that he loves his team colors best,
and every son knows nobody loves Mom like he does.
No, Mayita.
Not here.
Yes, Cursi. I can't wait.
Wow, Cursi!
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
What?
You're all shaved.
You like?
Yeah.
It's yours.
Mayita.
You're sexier than I thought.
They're all yours.
My buddies are never gonna believe me.
Baby Face says you're a fragrant flower,
the sweetest nectar and all that.
The bastard's a real poet.
Che has all your calendars.
BATON: Correct me if I'm wrong. Loving a woman and a ball is the same.
You've got to entice her and guide her with skill,
put her in her place if need be, and never lose control.
I know, mango, it is Tato's house,
but just until we find something better.
Guess what?
I'm selling WonderLife now.
For real! TotalWonder's amazing!
I signed up four teammates.
I told them it takes 400 points.
Five hundred, sorry,
to become Quartz Sales Reps.
The whole team is on WonderLife.
One of my clients is waiting, honey.
Like you died and went to heaven, right?
Yeah, just like heaven.
Come to the poker table.
Minimum stake is $10,000.
Did you see the pot he raked in?
Time for bazooka.
A what?
Your hand. Bazooka.
What's this?
Snow White, blow. Coke.
No way, I'm an athlete.
Whatever you say. You decide. It helps some people play better.
Play what? Poker?
Sure.
Have a seat, please.
Evening, miss.
Your chips. Let's play.
This car's a tank, huh?
I'm so proud of the way you've come out on top.
Yeah?
Didn't you notice at the disco last night?
The Dogo?
It's super exclusive, all these VIPs
falling over themselves for you.
People love you!
That place is super cool. I had a great time.
Me, too. And that suit you had on?
Yeah, the…
Dolce & Gabbana.
Gabbana, yeah.
You looked incredible.
Not like your friend Worm-face or, sorry,
your brother, they'd never pull it off!
Well, my brother is sort of a hick.
And how many guys are top players like you,
or how many singers have your super style and super voice?
Well, singing is my thing.
I know.
Let me see something.
Hey, can you climb in there?
Inside?
Yeah. I want to see something.
It's not easy to come from nowhere and make it big, sweetie.
Why?
Because I know.
I ran away from Puerto Rico.
Pop wanted me to work in the bakery,
and Mom wanted me to fry bananas.
That's not me!
No.
Not really.
You've come out on top, Mayita.
Here I am, on TV, in magazines,
and with the most handsome, talented boyfriend in the world.
You like this car?
It's the car I've always wanted.
But it's too expensive, sweetie.
Well, it's yours.
For real?
A gift from me, if you want it.
Oh, baby, I love you.
Me, too.
TV ANNOUNCER: Rudo Verdusco, the goalkeeping sensation!
If he keeps it up, he'll break the record
for shut-outs. And how about his brother?
Cursi should be playing like Rudo,
but he fell from the national team into the love nest,
posing with his girl in magazines…
TATO: So what? You're jealous!
…living a pipe dream that'll kill his talent!
Get him off, get him off me!
Chill out, bro. Charlie's house-trained.
Why'd you bring it here?
I won him at poker. He's worth a bundle.
Tell him not to shit everywhere, the place is a pigsty!
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Answer the door.
Coming.
(CAMPOS CHATTERING)
What's up, Son?
How are you?
Come on in.
Campitos! How's it going?
Angelita, what a big girl!
She's asleep. My stuff.
I'll get it.
This is Charlie!
Oh, how nice!
This house is gorgeous.
What'd I tell you? Look at Campos! Hey!
What made you change your mind?
I was sharing at a WonderLife meeting.
I told everyone how you're selling product and trying so hard,
and I realized it's best if we're all together.
I'll break the record with you here.
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'm begging you to beg me
♪ I'll shine up the old brown boots
♪ I'll put on a brand new hat
♪ I'll get home early from work
♪ If you say that you love me
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying? ♪
Since you didn't get a band, I was tripping over my own voice!
Okay, it was a dive, but playback concerts are normal.
What the fuck's normal about this?
Singing at a circus for a bunch of brats?
A circus matinee was the only gig they could get!
Fucking useless record label, they don't care about me!
I'm hot shit!
On the pitch you are!
Soccer's your bag, not music!
Batty's got a point.
What? You're on his side now?
No, sweetie, you sing nice, but your goals are beautiful.
BATON: Life would be easier if you could distinguish at birth
between passion and talent.
That's the difference between a hooligan and top player,
between adoring and being adored.
GAMBLER: Two pairs, tens and fives.
Same here. What else you got?
A three.
A seven.
You're full of shit!
You got to know how to play the game!
Way to stay cool.
Great hand.
Want to pay off that credit line we gave you?
If I don't use it now, when I'm on a roll, I'm fucked.
Whatever you say.
This is all I got.
Give me a little fix, no?
Sure.
DEALER: All bets.
Yeah, I'm flying blind.
Bets.
Bets.
Play!
Ace of diamonds. Five of hearts.
Fifty.
Queen of diamonds.
Hit?
No, I'm out.
I can handle 50. Here.
Hit?
We ain't got all night.
I fold.
Hit?
Fold.
Alone again.
DEALER: Ten of hearts.
Well, let's up the ante another 50.
Why not 100?
Why not?
Eight of hearts. Anyone want to raise?
Pass.
DEALER: Are you in or not?
I'm all in. That's all I've got.
You call?
I call.
BETO: Don't be such a wuss!
Show them.
DEALER: Show your cards.
Three of a kind.
Flush. Read them and weep.
TATO: You had me sing at a Sweet 16 party, Baton!
I've had it! So, ciao!
What the fuck? Where is everything?
We got robbed, bro.
What?
Yeah. Cleaned out.
You tell the security guy? Maybe he saw something.
He said he didn't.
Bastard. He's in on it. Let's call the cops.
No, what for?
Won't do any good.
They'll just ask stupid questions.
Shit, man.
Look. All they left was your dad's painting.
Yeah.
You lost my stuff gambling, didn't you?
I'm talking to you! You fucked up
and lost my stuff gambling, right?
I was on a winning streak, but then my system failed me.
Fuck that! You lost everything?
And I still owe them a shitload.
You asshole! We're supposed to be
saving up to build Mom's house!
We still got your savings.
I've got dick!
I've got a girl and a shitload of expenses!
You're a lying pig just like your old man!
You're just like that child-molesting motherfucker!
Watch your mouth, shithead!
He was a son of a bitch just like you!
I bet he got off on this piece of crap!
Quit it, jackass!
What're you doing, faggot?
Your dad was worse, asshole!
My dad was on the level! He was French!
They called him Frenchy because he smelled!
Fucking truck driver from Sonora!
You're jealous, faggot!
Of what, shithead?
Of me, because I play better than you and I got a high-class broad!
High-class? They call her "pajamas"
because everyone wears her to bed!
Shut the fuck up, asshole!
Make me, faggot!
BATON: Fair play ends where intolerance begins,
with brothers turning the game back into a battle.
When balls are replaced with severed heads once again,
to vent pent-up rage and resentment.
Tragic, really.
What's wrong with Cursi? Is he playing dodgeball?
Who wants him like this? He hasn't been
the same since Haiti, he's been cursed.
Watch him shoot and miss!
Bastards!
One, two, strike three! You're out!
Cursi needs to get back into shape, he's partying too much.
Fuck them!
He's a dork, honey.
He dated Brenda, from the nightly news?
She says he's eensy-weensy.
Who cares? What's wrong with me? I'm playing like shit.
It's just a bad streak.
When is it gonna end?
There's something I need to tell you.
I need to tell you something, too.
Really? What?
No, you.
No, you first.
You.
You first, honey.
You were gonna tell me first.
You tell me.
Hey!
What?
Here, take it.
Thanks. You know chocolates make me break out.
But these are dietetic. Just open it.
It's beautiful.
So? Will you marry me?
Of course I will, I love you.
I love you, too.
What were you gonna tell me?
Nothing, forget about it.
(RATTLING)
I'm watching cartoons, Son. Hang on.
Give her WonderBaby three times a day.
Okay.
Charlie, say bye-bye!
See you later. Take care.
If you don't like cartoons, I'll change channels.
Hotel manager says we can't keep Charlie here.
Then we'll find someplace else.
My sales have taken off since I started bringing Charlie.
We can get a lot of money for him.
So what?
So we have to sell him.
It's not worth it.
Loan me some pocket money?
What for?
To get some food. Look at the time.
Okay, but bring some juice for the kids.
Don't be long.
Hello?
Son, how are you?
Mom, what's going on?
I got a big surprise!
Your sister Nadia is getting married! Can you guess who to?
To…
Tristan?
Are you nuts? That deadbeat? No way!
She's marrying Don Casimiro!
But the guy's a drug lord!
Don't call him that.
His guys were in a shootout back home, right?
And those people they beheaded on the coast, too.
Gossip.
He's quality. He already gave us a pick-up truck.
So he's all right, then.
The wedding's on a weekday so you can come.
Sounds great. See you there.
Bye, Mom, kisses.
Bye, Beto.
Hey, what's up?
Want to go shopping?
Shopping? Sure.
It's out of my hands. I'm the front. I just run the show.
But the folks behind the scenes want their money.
Ask them to raise my credit.
I swear this pains me. But it ain't gonna happen.
Your IOU is tsunami size.
I'll pay back everything. Just give me time.
I'd love to help. But I can't.
Do you have Pampers Supreme?
We're all out, sir.
Shit.
You've got no limit, Rudo, you bet too much, you dig blow.
I just use it to gamble because it helps me win.
I always hear that.
You got no plan B. And that costs money.
One more chance.
No can do.
You got 15 days to settle the score. That's super generous.
Cupcake?
Listen, they're all out of Pampers Supreme.
How's it my fault?
But, baby…
Yes, honey.
Yes, honey.
Love you.
Fifteen days. That's the Amaranto game.
I understand. That's your deadline.
I'm telling you as a friend, pay up.
They're super assholes when they don't get paid, got it?
No, I don't.
You heard about that dude who fell off a bridge?
Oh, yeah!
He didn't pay.
And his debt was nothing compared to yours.
I hope these don't give my kid diaper rash.
He won't eat, he's nuts over the chocolate tower.
(SINGING SPANISH SONG)
Cheers. Cheers!
Hey! You've reached Maya. Leave me a message, okay?
Baby, why weren't you at the airport?
Everyone's waiting.
I know we were gonna announce our engagement together, but…
Buzz off!
But I told Cuco
and he can't keep his mouth shut.
Call me.
I love you.
So you gonna help me?
Not sure. It's a tall order. And a pretty penny.
But tell me, what do you feel when you're gambling?
Same as when I'm in goal.
Come on, you can fix anything.
Maybe I can do something, but…
What?
I could put my money on the Amaranto game.
Now you're talking!
We'll crush those bastards!
No. I was thinking the opposite.
What do you mean? We're gonna win!
That depends.
Not if you let some goals through.
Not if you let them win.
No, that's not right.
You owe too much money.
The stakes are too high.
But what about my shut-out record?
Something's got to give.
If you won't, you won't.
Even though it could help your brother
break his bad streak. Think about it.
He can go to hell!
To hell with him, then.
You fix the problem, don't come to me, deal?
That's how it's got to be.
Whatever. It's a free country.
Wasn't your woman supposed to be here? Some bullshit engagement.
Bullshit my ass.
She's got the ring. All we got to do is set a date.
Marry in June.
That's her hottest month in that motor oil calendar.
Mine's all sticky there!
From that glue you use to make pinatas for kids.
What are you laughing at, you hick?
What's up, little brother-in-law?
Where's the other one?
There he is.
Rope him in.
Little brothers-in-law,
my Nadia told me you always wanted a beach house for your mom.
Well, your dream's come true.
I'm building a little mansion here on Chololos Beach.
Real nice.
Your mom and the family will have everything they need.
Thank you, Don Casimiro. I hope it's not too much trouble.
My boys… Well, soccer is all they're good for.
No trouble, little lady.
Don't soccer players dance?
Come on, darling, let's shake those bones.
May I?
You certainly may.
BATON: What can be done when you've worshipped a uniform for years,
singing, shouting, willing to die for her,
then she finds a more determined fan with stronger lungs,
who claims he's better than you
at singing and shouting and dying?
Where do you leave your wounded pride?
BATON: I've good news and bad news.
TATO: Bad news first.
The owners gave you an ultimatum.
If you don't score against Nopaleros,
you'll be sent down to Second Division.
Yeah, I know. Faggots.
They're pathetic.
What's the good news?
You're marrying a goddess.
And you're a top player who can break this bad streak!
You're the best, got it?
The best!
Okay, fuck them all.
That's my Cursi.
Stick it to them tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll call you. Thanks.
Ciao.
Hey! You've reached Maya. Leave me a message?
Maya, please. I've left a zillion messages.
Call me. Love you.
Fucking Cursi.
If you don't play like you used to against Nopaleros,
we'll beat the crap out of you.
We know where you live,
where you train, where you hang out and we know your car,
so you better play to win, asshole.
Can I have your autograph?
Sure, who's it for?
For Porky.
My pleasure.
Porky?
And one for Yenni. Spelled "Y" double "N."
You better score or we'll fuck you up.
BATON: Ever since soccer became a business, everything rides on results.
No more joy in the game, only fear remains.
No one takes chances because they cannot fail.
It's like living with a gun to your head.
Rudo! One second.
You are 90 minutes away from breaking the shut-out record.
Can you taste it?
No, I can't taste it, I got 90 minutes to break it or die trying.
How did you come this far? Where do you get your talent?
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be the best goalie.
Sometimes I'd pretend they were handing me the World Cup.
Best of luck. Thanks.
No, thank you. Hi to Tlachatlan!
MAN ON TV: Guess who's mooning about town, enjoying a budding romance?
Who might that be?
That dashing national team player
"Gringa" Roldan and TV hostess Maya Vega!
No fucking way!
Wasn't she dating that other player,
the lousy singer who never scores goals?
Lousy, your ass, bitch!
She has traded failure for success. Let's take a look.
Maya! Tell us about your new romance?
MAYA: I'm thrilled, right, honey?
I'm gonna kill her!
Hey! You've reached Maya. Leave me a…
Answer, you fucking whore, answer!
I just love how they call him "Gringa." It's super cosmopolitan.
Fucking whore! Fucking bitching whore!
Take it easy.
Take it easy, asshole?
It's all good, Cursi.
All good? Bullshit!
They're fucking my broad! She's fucking some other idiot!
TEAMMATE 1: He found out!
TEAMMATE 2: Who told him?
TEAMMATE 1: It was on TV!
You bastards knew?
TEAMMATE: Chill out.
That fucking whore!
I'm gonna kill her.
I'm gonna kill that bitch and that fucking faggot Gringa!
Get the doctor!
Stop it, Cursi! Get back here!
Get him!
Hurry, Doc. He flipped out.
Tranquilize him.
Give him a shot.
BATON: The problem with loving the ball
is that everyone wants her and she wants everyone.
That's why you've got to take care of her.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, mango. How are you?
Bad, honey, real bad.
What's wrong?
They took all my points away!
I only needed 10 to become a Ruby
Sales Rep and win the Caribbean cruise!
What happened?
I don't know. They added them up wrong.
They put me back where I started,
Crystal Sales Rep. It's not fair!
Of course it's not fair.
Don't worry, mango, I'll help you
like you helped me. Take it easy.
Thanks, Beto.
Come on, babe, I'm your husband.
Everything's gonna be all right.
You're right.
Now get some rest. You got a record to break tomorrow.
Guess so, huh? The record.
You get some rest, too.
Kisses.
Hello? Baton?
Rudo, how's tricks?
How many goals do I let through?
Games are won by a single goal.
You got a deal. I'm in.
You're positive?
Yes.
Because my savings will be on the line.
Sure.
Don't worry. Good night.
TV ANNOUNCER 1: The scalpers are making a killing.
TV ANNOUNCER 2: It is a blood duel!
TV ANNOUNCER 3: Two brothers. Head to head.
TV ANNOUNCER 4: Rudo is at his peak!
TV ANNOUNCER 5: Cursi's on a bad streak!
TV ANNOUNCER 6: Will Rudo break the shut-out record?
TV ANNOUNCER 7: His brother won't let it happen.
TV ANNOUNCER 8: Even if he's stuck in limbo after his meteoric ascent.
What is Cursi feeling after the way
he's lived these past few months?
TV ANNOUNCER 9: The brothers' duel has captivated the entire country.
COACH: Listen, guys, pay attention to goddamn Mafafo.
That guy likes sneaking behind
our defenders and he's a bitch to cover.
Cursi!
To the bench. You're sedated and I can't risk it.
Garcia, you're in for Cursi.
Yes, sir.
Same plays, but please, make the goals.
Gather round.
TEAMMATE: Kill the music!
ALL: (PRAYING) Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…
Good luck. We have to win.
Yeah.
(FANS CHANTING)
ANNOUNCER: Bruno Lopez, mysterious coach.
Says nothing until the last minute.
Here's the line-up. Breaking news,
Cursi's on the bench, he's out.
FAN: Ninety minutes to the record, Rudo!
FEMALE FAN: Kiss my ass, Rudo!
Hey, kid!
What?
Take a message to Cursi on the bench.
No way. I can't budge.
Come on. The other kid can cover for you.
I'm not allowed.
I'll give you an autographed jersey.
FAN: Fuck you, Rudo!
Fucking faggots.
What do I tell him?
Ask him if he's on the bench because I scare him.
Hurry up!
ANNOUNCER: Amaranto moves fast.
Fernandez upsets the Nopalero defense,
an easy ball into Rudo's hands.
No, Rudo drops the ball!
Here comes Farias! He shoots!
Out of bounds!
What a mistake by Rudo!
How could you drop that beach ball?
Seems like Rudo doesn't want the record.
What a stupid mistake.
What a jackass!
Rudo's sloppiness puts pressure on the defense.
Zapallo?
Double my wager.
Did you see what just happened?
Then stop farting around and double it.
(WHISPERING)
Come on! Spread out!
ANNOUNCER: Nopaleros stampedes down the right.
Serrano reaches the end line, sends back a pass.
Mafafo kicks. Off the post!
Amaranto is miraculously saved!
Come on, Beto!
BETO: Keep your eyes open!
(WHISTLES)
Let's go!
What did he say?
He says you've got no fucking idea what he's been through.
He said that? What are you laughing at?
Here they come!
ANNOUNCER: Rudo comes out late, Mena takes aim.
Terrible kick! Horrible!
Mena blew it, he won't get another chance like that.
The ref signals the end of the first half.
Be right back.
The best part of the game is yet to come.
FAN: Lend me your sister, Rudo!
You're one lucky fuck.
Ain't I?
(PHONE BEEPING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello? Listen, I'll pay, I swear.
Just give me a little more time.
BATON: How the hell will you pay, if you won't do what it takes?
Baton?
What do you want from me? I'm trying, but it's not so simple.
Don't fuck with me, bastard!
Try harder. It's already the second half!
Did you see them play? They suck.
They couldn't score without a goalie.
Then make the goal yourself, but let them win!
Why don't they send in Tato?
Maybe he could do something.
He has woman trouble.
Worry about your own ass! Concentrate on what you've got to do!
Can't you see there's a noose around your neck?
Don't you get it?
You've got to lose!
COACH: Listen up, men!
It's zero-zero, and you don't win a game with zeros.
When it's this close, talent and balls make the difference!
Play with talent and balls!
Who are we?
TEAM: Amaranto!
What do we play with?
Balls!
Your bro's on the bench because he found
out Gringa Roldan's screwing Maya,
and they had to sedate him.
What's it to you, asshole?
Nothing.
I screwed her good a long time ago.
FAN: Suck my dick, Cursi!
FEMALE FAN: Let me grab your ass, Cursi!
FAN: Fucking Cursi wuss!
FAN: Dive between my legs, Rudo!
(CROWD CHANTING)
ANNOUNCER: We're expecting a vibrant second half, Rudo's close to the record,
45 minutes away.
Kid!
Come here!
Tell Cursi to get a grip.
I hate seeing him like this. Tell him, "Chin up."
What'll Mom say if she sees him crying over a whore?
That's really long.
Go tell him before you forget.
(PHONE RINGING)
Send it over!
Hello?
Hi, Bruno. Baton here.
Not now.
Why are you waiting, send in Cursi! This game was made for him.
Cursi's done. He's in no condition to play.
You've got to send him in! Or you want
the world to know your cut per player?
Fuck you! Now he stays on the bench!
Really? And will your wife be upset
when she finds out you're banging Muteboy Villegas?
Fuck off!
Prick!
Pass it!
Cursi! Start warming up!
Me?
Yes, you! Let's see you break that bad streak.
In you go, asshole!
(CROWD CHANTING)
Cursi, Rudo says your mama is a whore.
Out of my way.
ANNOUNCER: Finally, a smart substitution.
There's Cursi. The moment we've been waiting for.
He's seeking revenge after sitting on the bench.
Maybe Cursi can break the deadlock.
If he fails he'll be sent down to Second Division.
He's got everything to win, nothing to lose.
(CROWD CHANTING)
Cursi sucks your dick, Rudo!
Go, Cursi! It's all yours!
Cursi on the move, passes to Lopez,
who sends back a beautiful pass.
Cursi one on one against his brother.
What a duel! He shoots!
Goal!
(CROWD CHEERING)
What a goal.
Shut up.
How the fuck did that happen?
You left me alone.
String, kite, string!
(REFEREE WHISTLES)
What?
Offside! Incredible! What a close play!
Cursi can't break the curse!
Fortune remains on Rudo's side.
There's no offside! You wanker!
Hang in there, Rudo!
The ref is blind!
You get my message, bro?
My mom is not a whore!
I didn't say that!
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with those boys? Beto must have said something.
This'll calm you down.
(CHANTING)
ANNOUNCER: Amaranto presses on.
Cursi shakes off a foul through the defender's legs!
(PHONE RINGING)
Passes to the center.
What, Zapallo?
Don't fuck with me, we can't lose.
Don't break my balls! Games last 90 minutes.
Cursi dribbles in. Rudo forgets about the ball.
The final minute lasts 60 seconds!
Penalty! What'd I tell you?
The ref's blind! That's no penalty!
Now that's a penalty.
No way, ref!
Of course not!
What a stupid play by Rudo.
His record is in jeopardy.
There's something fishy here.
I didn't touch him!
Don't lie! You're not a politician!
I didn't touch you!
Does it hurt? Or only when you laugh?
Get up!
Let Centipede take it!
Give me a shot.
Coach wants me to take it.
I know, but give me a shot anyway. I wanna break my bad streak.
COACH: Centipede!
Fuck!
BATON: The moment of truth comes for everyone.
I just want you to know,
I don't care if you forgive me,
I just wanna make sure you're okay.
Shoot to the right, please.
What?
ANNOUNCER: Tension on the field. What are those two saying?
Nothing friendly, I assure you.
Tato, you're gonna be okay, bro.
Beto! We're brothers, man.
What?
We're brothers.
Please, shoot to the right.
To the right.
Come on! Let's play! Time's almost up.
Take your positions.
Rudo, one more minute!
ANNOUNCER: Minute 89,
two brothers face off at 12 paces,
one ball, one record at stake.
Shoot!
ANNOUNCER: The game ends with this kick.
Shoot!
The stadium is delirious.
Rudo against Cursi.
A family divided.
Shoot.
ANNOUNCER: Incredible!
Rudo snatches the glory from his own brother!
Fucking A!
Why is it always penalties?
ANNOUNCER: Rudo's the hero! He breaks the record! Cursi is done for!
Those bastards!
(CHANTING) Goalie, goalie!
I should've taken the shot.
Chill out, man.
BATON: Penalty means punishment.
But only one man is penalized, the one who fails.
The winner is covered in glory.
If both are penalized,
that means the grand game of life
has defeated the beautiful game of soccer.
We're gonna fuck you up, asshole!
Son of a bitch! We know where you live!
Cursi was sent to Second Division.
He never got his mojo back and quickly faded away.
He quit soccer and moved to Chilpancingo,
where he runs a karaoke bar owned by his brother-in-law, Casimiro.
Every night, from 8:00 to 10:00, Cursi rules the stage.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
DRIVER: Shit! What the hell?
What's with this asshole?
Why'd you cut me off?
Rudo was lucky. They didn't kill him.
The bullets ruined only one leg.
He had to quit soccer,
but his shut-out record still stands.
He coaches a Second Division team
his brother-in-law Casimiro bought.
Now he gambles from the bench.
What's up, dude?
Nothing.
What's happening?
The usual.
Mom's house turned out awesome, huh?
Yeah.
Fucking Casimiro, he's one fat cat.
He sure is.
Nadia looks real nice pregnant, no?
She's a whale.
She's ready to pop.
Seems like they're moving too fast.
That's their business, bro.
Sing something, okay?
Yeah?
Yeah.
All right. What do you want to hear?
The one…
That one you're good at.
Which one?
You know the one.
You're on. But sing with me, all right?
Remember…
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'm begging you to beg me ♪
BATON: And me?
The Verdusco brothers made me lose my shirt.
I bet everything on Amaranto to win.
That tie game didn't do me any good.
But I'm still gallivanting about.
Someone has to find the diamonds
in the rough to keep the ball rolling.
Pardon me, who are those twins playing the wings?
They're Hector and Nestor Morales.
The best midfielders in the state.
Lovely.
All for the love of the game.
(I WANT YOU TO WANT ME PLAYS)
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'm begging you to beg me
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'll shine up the old brown shoes
♪ Put on a brand new shirt
♪ I'll get home early from work
♪ If you say that you love me
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Feeling all alone without a friend
♪ You know you feel like dying
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I need you to need me
♪ I'd love you to love me
♪ I'm begging you to beg me
♪ I'll shine up the old brown shoes
♪ Put on a brand new shirt
♪ I'll get home early from work
♪ If you say that you love me
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Feeling all alone without a friend
♪ You know you feel like dying
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ Feeling all alone without a friend
♪ You know you feel like dying
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you crying?
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I want you to want me
♪ I want you to want me
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I see you crying?
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I,
♪ Didn't I see you crying?
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I see you crying?
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I
♪ Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I